NVC for Real: Coaching Across Racial Microaggressions for People of the Global Majority*/BIPOC

May 6 – June 10, 2023
May 6: 8:30 am-10:30 am
May 13: 8:30 am-10:30 am
May 20: 8:30 am-10:30 am
May 27: 8:30 am-10:30 am
June 10: 8:30 am-10:30 am

Join us online, five Saturdays – May 6, 13, 20, 27, and June 10, from 8:30 – 10:30am PDT.

Attend to impact before intention.

We’ve heard this principle before, but those five words are hard to put into practice, especially when dealing with microaggressions.** We often either don’t know why what we said or did is being called a microaggression, or we’re desperately resisting any possible inference that might lead to someone judging our behavior as racist. So how and where can we learn more? Here is a space where folks who identify as members of the Global Majority* / Black, Indigenous, and People of Color can talk about these challenges separate from the white gaze and dive deep into our experiences.

Many of us know it is a double whammy to ask the person who is already reeling from yet another microaggression to educate us, the person who stimulated their pain, about what was wrong or why our actions constituted a microaggression. In our desire to hold care for those who are repeatedly impacted by microaggressions, we are left with several questions.

  • How can we gain understanding of why our actions stimulated the pain of microaggressions?
  • Who can we ask when we don’t want to ask those who are already in pain to be the source of our education?
  • Where can we go to learn and practice more effective, empathetic ways of taking responsibility for our impact when we know we have stimulated this pain for others?

This five week series is your answer. Bring specific examples of microaggressions you’ve committed or wondered about, and we’ll unpack them together. We will:

  • Walk through an understanding of the implicit messages that make certain expressions or actions painful.
  • Explore how to truly show up for the impact of our actions in ways that create the possibility for healing for those we’ve impacted.
  • Practice how to respond if we were the bystander observing a microaggression.

So, ready to be real? Eager to deepen your critical awareness of the situations that lead to some folks experiencing microaggressions a lot of the time? Ready for the challenge of empathic but direct coaching that won’t sugar-coat or minimize the impact we’re addressing? Committed to learning a practice that values both realness and empathy?

Join us, five Saturdays – May 6, 13, 20, 27, and June 10, from 8:30 – 10:30am PDT.

Are you interested in the course, but can’t make this time? Consider joining the course being offered on Wednesdays in May, 2:30 – 4:30 pm PDT. This course is not specific to folks from the Global Majority/BIPOC and is instead open to all. Click here to learn more.

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Notes on the intention and framing of the series

My goal in offering this space is to provide a forum for people who are worried about committing or have committed racial microaggressions to deepen their capacity to respond effectively. I’m creating a container where it is expected you’ll show up vulnerably with your lack of knowledge while maintaining a commitment to bring respect, civility, and empathy in our interactions. I expect that as folks work to share their experiences or ask questions, they’ll do so in ways that also reveal microaggressions and bias. As a result, I offer the following thoughts on the structure of the series to help you decide if this class will work for you.

  • My series focus is on supporting learning and capacity building using NVC and critical awareness principles. Our priority is not empathy or healing although I fully expect we will experience both. If you’re stimulated, we may offer very brief empathy to help you return to the shared intention. If you need more extensive healing, we’ll see if someone is willing to hold empathic space with you in a breakout room while the course continues. If you need more support than is available in the group, we’ll invite you to take a break and get empathy from your community offline.
  • One category of microaggressions — microassaults — describes traditional discrimination characterized by purposeful discriminatory actions such as name-calling, avoidance and biased treatment. The focus for this series is on the other two categories- micro invalidations and microinsults, both of which are more likely to be unintentional.
  • We expect real talk, coupled with civility. Our intent is to fully use the power of NVC to make observations, not judgments or personal attacks. Our goal is to call you in, not call you out. Read my article on Calling in vs Calling out to have a clearer sense of what we’re striving for.
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* The term Global Majority, coined by Rosemary Campbell-Stephens, includes people who identify as Black, African, Asian, Brown, Arab, and mixed heritage, are indigenous to the Americas and the global south, and/or have been racialized as ‘ethnic minorities’.

** Not sure what I mean by microaggressions?